The Gift

Nigel vowed that this year, he would do it. No ifs, ands, or buts, no clumsy last minute excuses.

He stared at himself in the mirror and straightened his tie. A frown crossed his face as he noticed the not-quite fit of his vest. He pulled his jacket back and turned, frowning harder; he'd always been thick-waisted and verging on barrel-chested, but was he going from merely "sturdily built" straight to "carrying a few spare tires?" Or really maybe it was the light. The light really wasn't flattering. And the mirror was a bit old, he had to admit -- perhaps the glass was beginning to warp in that unappealing way. And--

And perhaps he ought to just admit he was just getting fat in his bloody old age. Typically this was not something that would bother Nigel; his father was the picture of a portly gentleman, and his grandfather was no beanpole. But he could just imagine the look on Agent Fancy's face, as he marched up bearing his ridiculous present and ten extra pounds and what the bloody hell was he thinking anyway!

"You're not talking yourself out of this, Mr. Watts," he scolded himself, forcing himself to meet his own eye in the mirror. "You and the missus will just have to keep off the pudding for a bit."

The missus in question was looking slim as ever as she leapt onto the chair set beside him. She meowed quite forcefully, and he automatically scratched her under the chin.

"I know I've got to do it, this year I really will, pet, but I'm all nerves and you know how I get when I'm all nerves." His scratching became a bit more frenzied, but Mrs Mewbury didn't mind. She stretched and dug her claws into the arm of his suit, kneading cheerfully and shedding long grey hairs all over him. He didn't notice. "I never say the right thing, that's what I do when I'm all nerves. Oh lord. Oh dear me. How am I going to do this?" He scooped the cat up into his arms and collapsed into a chair. His petting grew more and more distracted, until she bit him; as she leapt out of his lap, he caught sight of his own reflection, harried and pale.

"Aren't you a sorry sight, Nigel?" he sighed, neurotically patting his hair into place. There was a bit right by his left temple that refused to stay swept back, no matter how much gel he used-- and there, his tie was a bit crooked, wasn't it? And well, when had he gotten so covered in cat hair? He went in the kitchen, opening drawers in search of a lint-roller. He'd just seen it yesterday, he thought, he'd had to take off all that damn blue fuzz his old jacket had left on his--

There was a knock at the door.

"Bloody hell!" Nigel cursed, scurrying back into the bedroom, knocking over his laundry hamper and cursing again. That had to be the driver and he wasn't nearly ready and where was that damn present and--

"Timeliness is a virtue, Agent Watts."

Nigel straightened. He swallowed. Those cultured tones, that soft voice, didn't belong to anyone but--

"--Agent Fancy!" Out of the corner of his eye he saw crimson and green wrapping paper peeking out from under his long coat; he quickly grabbed at it and hid the present behind his back. "I-- I-- I was just on my way, sir. I hope-- I haven't been holding everyone up, have I sir? Oh dear, I'm very sorry sir, I'm just...."

"At ease, Agent." Amusement played about Agent Fancy's mouth. "I'm early." He reached out and one perfectly manicured hand brushed gently at Nigel's shoulder, plucked away a loose thread there. Nigel startled, and stepped back, putting some distance between them. He could feel heat creeping up his chest, over his shoulders and the back of his neck.

"S-s-sir, I-I..."

"I'm afraid your driver turned out to be a Ubrella agent," Agent Fancy said, as if this resolved everything.

Nigel's fingers were sweaty on the wrapping paper, leaving, he was sure, ugly wet marks on the carefully wrapped present. He simply couldn't give such a ruined, ugly thing to Kit Fancy, could he? He couldn't. Agent Fancy would laugh. He'd already imposed on Agent Fancy terribly, hadn't he, he had just thought that perhaps he should have a lift for once rather than walk to the Agency in all this snow, since he hadn't wanted to ruin the wrapping paper, only now it was ruined anyways, wasn't it, and wasn't this just typical, just typical!

He stepped closer to the bed. He meant to banish the gift once again under it while Agent Fancy was distracted (currently, the agent was exchanging carefully indifferent looks with Ms Mewbury who had, bless her, appeared from locations unknown); but Nigel stepped into the frame of the mirror, and caught his own reflection there.

The man looking back seemed rather disappointed in him. He had, after all, promised that this year he would not back out. He sucked in a deep breath.

"Ah, Agent Fancy -- sir -- I, ah...."

Agent Fancy arched an eyebrow, but said nothing, waiting for him patiently to continue.

"I, well, I know I could have given you this at the party, but ah, well, ah, let me see, how do I, hm...." He glanced back at his reflection, at that pale, spineless dumpling of a man reflected there, and his confidence wavered; but then he caught his own eyes, steely grey, and he refused to let himself back down. "I-I bought this for you, sir, and I'd very much like you to have it." He brought his hand from his back, thrust the brightly wrapped and slightly lumpy package at Agent Fancy, shaking so hard the ribbons made a dry rattle against each other. "S-So, if you'd please, it's not much, just a token...."

Agent Fancy's hands were impossibly smooth, and his fingertips cool, when they brushed against his to accept the package. Nigel froze, unable to speak, squeak or swallow, as Agent Fancy neatly opened the package, folding the paper into a small square before he set it aside. He lifted an eyebrow as he tipped the lid of the box, eyes almost analytical as he assessed its contents, but otherwise his expression did not change.

"Thank you," Agent Fancy said, slipping the box into his pocket. "Shall we be off, then?"

Nigel felt his heart constrict, then slip somewhere in to the range of his bowels.

It was a horrible gift. Agent Fancy hated it! He was just too bloody polite to say so. What had Nigel been thinking? What an idiot he was! He opened his mouth to apologize, but really, there weren't even any words. He could barely feel his fingers as he grabbed his long coat, not noticing the hairs still attached to himself and it, numbly following Agent Fancy down to the gunmetal Aston-Martin waiting by the curb. The Agency was barely five minutes away, and he was thankful for the short ride, sitting in that uncomfortable silence. He berated himself over and over for his idiocy; of course Agent Fancy would want nothing that he, Agent Watts, merely third class, could afford to give him. This was why in all the past years he'd never managed to work up the nerve; this was why--

Agent Fancy touched his elbow. "Shall we?"

Nigel looked up and swallowed. He steeled himself to suffer through another Agency Christmas party, where he would probably sit in a corner and drink wine until he was sure to wake up the next morning with a headache the size of Russia. He reached for the car door, glancing over as Agent Fancy did the same.

He blinked and looked again.

From just under the edge of Kit Fancy's well-cut sleeve gleamed a silver watch, custom crafted and fitted, designed by one certain Agent Nigel Watts to automatically sense its location and tell the proper time in any time zone in the world. It also translated documents, calculated temperature, barometer readings, toxicity and allergens, and a hundred other functions Nigel Watts had programmed into it by hand. It had taken him just under two years to perfect. The stylish silver watch was the Christmas gift he had just presented to Agent Fancy just under ten minutes ago.

A slow, warm feeling spread over him.

"Sir--?"

He met Agent Fancy's eye over the top of the car. He couldn't help his grin.

"Happy Christmas, sir."

Agent Fancy handed his keys to the Agency valet. A smile played about his mouth. "Happy Christmas, Nigel."

Posted by pluto at December 24, 2004 08:35 AM

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